Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
