Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
