All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
