the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
