Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
