I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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