Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
