i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
why do cheetos always look like penises
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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