so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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