That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
