You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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