i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
