Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
