There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize