she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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