the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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