my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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