reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
