I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I want to make a zoo with you.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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