HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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