My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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