Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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