Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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