i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
