You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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