OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
