I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
