i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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