So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
