i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
