either way he was missing a nipple.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
