where does the pee come out of this thing
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
