I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize