why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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