I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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