Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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