I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
