no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
