It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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