Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
