I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
