he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
birth control should be required to get into college
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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