sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
