I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize