if i can run in heels then i can drive
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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