I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
