Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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