She is in my trunk
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
