Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
