I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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