yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
