Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
