I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My pussy is not your playground.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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