i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
