i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Boobs speak an international language.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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