Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize