All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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