I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
