You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
