Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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