so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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