I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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