just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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