everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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